I gave my script to my friends and asked them to comment on it if they thought something should be changed. I asked people who were my age as that is mainly the demographic for my short film, therefore they will hopefully give really helpful constructive criticism. I also wanted to see their reaction to my short film and their initial thoughts as it is always a good idea to have a fresh set of eyes look at your work. Below is the script with many annotations.
A really useful suggestion for my short film is to add another scene after the bath scene. I had originally thought about doing this just so the film is slightly longer and the idea is pushed further. I have taken into consideration the suggestions for the first scene but I am not sure if I agree with some of them. For example I don't want Max to come back with different food. However I do agree that some of the lines need to be shorter and more snappy, so I might just see how it goes when I actually film and see what sounds more natural. Overall the audience feedback has been incredibly useful!